Abuse

What will it take?
Am I going to have to hit you upside the head with a 2 x 4?

I remember the way that it hurt me.
No, not "it."
I remember the way that you hurt me.
You hurt me.

I remember the way that you hurt me.
I cannot forget.
And yet I dismissed it.
I let it go.

What was it to take?
Perhaps I needed you to use the 2 x 4.
Maybe then I would have realized.
Maybe then I could have done something.

You hurt me.
How could you hurt me?
You said that you cared.
You said you'd always care.

Obviously not though.
Did you ever care for me?
Why was this somehow okay for you?
Why did I think this was okay for me?

I was hurt.
I was hurt by you.
I was hurt by you knowingly.
I was hurt by you knowingly and you made me feel guilty for it.

What is wrong with me?
What is it inside of me that let this happen?
Why didn't I make it stop?
Why couldn't I make it stop?

I can blame you day and night.
I can scream to the heavens.
I can cry to my friends.
I can not excuse myself.

Failure.
That's what I am.
A failure.
Who let myself be hurt.

Your little failure.
You played with me like a toy.
You had your laughs.
You finished with me.

I am left scarred.
I am left scared.
I am left to figure everything out.
I am left wondering.

You hurt me.
I could not leave.
What was it going to take?
Would a 2 x 4 upside the head have made any difference at all?

A Choice to Make

It appears that I have a choice,
But neither one is sure.
Both roads can lead to regret,
So which regret is more?
Hold steady with your course
Is obvious option one.
I realize however the downsides:
It ain't immediately fun.
Certainly something else could be tried
As an option two.
But then the downside here?
I wouldn't have you.

So many rights, what is left to be right?

There are two rights
The one for you
The one for me

But there is also the right
For you
Which is right for me

But certainly wrong
The right for you
Which is right for me

But then what if
The right for you
For you
Is wrong

And the right for me
For me
Is right

And the right for you and me
Is terribly off

My Emancipation

No more am I to be put down by you
Your presence is not enough to control me
I live for myself and I do as I wish to
Saying what I want and you must just let it be
This is my life and you have taken yourself out
So I don't care what of it you will still see
I have recovered and learned what life is about
And finally, without you, I am truly free

Grades

A is acceptable
B is below your potential
C is crap
D is death

You are no one

You are no one
You are nobody
You are nothing

After all, I have said

No one can make me happy
Nobody cares about me
Nothing will have me smiling

Simply Happiness

Happiness
Constantly striven for
The goal of what we do
An end to the means
Happiness
Once gone from my life
Now returned to me
Pulled me from the dark
Happiness
A warm hug from a friend
Comforting talk all alone
The people for whom I care