Friday, December 30, 2011

Revelation: A Sparkly Apocalypse

I see that which I had not known before
The world in sparkling clear reality
A revelation opens the depths of my mind
Now truly I am set free

But freedom of mind is not a blessing
I see all of reality's faults
This revelation is my apocalypse for I am
Cursed with torturous reality 'til my heart halts

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Resolutions

The year comes to a close
And I have often failed
Things started out poorly
And 2011 was derailed

So I looked back
And studied each mistake
Then to become more
My failings now I forsake

Though clearly I am
Such a very flawed man
I put what must be done
In a short simple plan

Every day I will recall
The things I must do
The ways I will be better
And how I will be new

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

37

Thirteen days
A mere thirteen days have passed
And yet it feels like forever
The loneliness has set in
I hate this being alone

Twenty-four days
An insurmountable twenty-four days left
And it is absolutely forever
To be so alone
Without true friend

Monday, December 26, 2011

Behaving (Periodically)

And so yet again I do the right thing
But this time will it last?
I manage it against my silly whims
But still failed in the past.
Always I've slipped up again
Because the whims persist.
While they are still present
Can I ever desist?

Saturday, December 24, 2011

There is No Tune to My Words

I'd really like to write you a song
But I've never been too good at that
All I can do at the moment is long
I'm quite proficiently missing you
So still I recall the places
Where I showed I really care at
All times with you on my heart
Never forget how that is true

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Sad

Sad is not always a bad thing
Some people are called to be sad
I find that I'm rather good at it

Sometimes I have a reason
But other times I do not
Which just makes me even more sad

I go off on my own
When I am sad
Pull away from the world

And when I return
I smile to seem glad
I don't want to bring anyone down

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The Ring

All that I am, and all that I was,
The man I have come to be;
In your red stone is all this.
You are everything to me.
On your sides you show
A crest, a crusader too.
Keeping my roots by me;
Holding me to memories so true.
A fine ring you are,
And to me you say,
Emitte spiritum tuum.
Thus, I will send my spirit each day.

Rush

Philosophy
Streaming into the ears of many
Coming through your drums
Through your bass
Through your guitar
Through your voice
The trio up on their stage
Preaching to the masses
Music can teach one more than girls and drugs
So listen to Neil, Geddy, and Alex
They will be your teachers now

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

My Forever Friends

Friends new
Friends old
Friends older still
All amongst my heart
Seeking a place to stay

Friends new
Gain affection
Earn trust
Make me laugh
Bring such smiles

Friends old
Take tears
Give life
Hold me up
Stand by me

Friends older still
Remember my need
Never give up
Care true
Keep me

All amongst my heart
Find these friends
A rightful place
With my love
They stay always

Seeking a place to stay
A home is found
My heart has room
For all you friends
All so dear

Monday, December 19, 2011

Abuse

What will it take?
Am I going to have to hit you upside the head with a 2 x 4?

I remember the way that it hurt me.
No, not "it."
I remember the way that you hurt me.
You hurt me.

I remember the way that you hurt me.
I cannot forget.
And yet I dismissed it.
I let it go.

What was it to take?
Perhaps I needed you to use the 2 x 4.
Maybe then I would have realized.
Maybe then I could have done something.

You hurt me.
How could you hurt me?
You said that you cared.
You said you'd always care.

Obviously not though.
Did you ever care for me?
Why was this somehow okay for you?
Why did I think this was okay for me?

I was hurt.
I was hurt by you.
I was hurt by you knowingly.
I was hurt by you knowingly and you made me feel guilty for it.

What is wrong with me?
What is it inside of me that let this happen?
Why didn't I make it stop?
Why couldn't I make it stop?

I can blame you day and night.
I can scream to the heavens.
I can cry to my friends.
I can not excuse myself.

Failure.
That's what I am.
A failure.
Who let myself be hurt.

Your little failure.
You played with me like a toy.
You had your laughs.
You finished with me.

I am left scarred.
I am left scared.
I am left to figure everything out.
I am left wondering.

You hurt me.
I could not leave.
What was it going to take?
Would a 2 x 4 upside the head have made any difference at all?

A Choice to Make

It appears that I have a choice,
But neither one is sure.
Both roads can lead to regret,
So which regret is more?
Hold steady with your course
Is obvious option one.
I realize however the downsides:
It ain't immediately fun.
Certainly something else could be tried
As an option two.
But then the downside here?
I wouldn't have you.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

So many rights, what is left to be right?

There are two rights
The one for you
The one for me

But there is also the right
For you
Which is right for me

But certainly wrong
The right for you
Which is right for me

But then what if
The right for you
For you
Is wrong

And the right for me
For me
Is right

And the right for you and me
Is terribly off

Saturday, December 17, 2011

My Emancipation

No more am I to be put down by you
Your presence is not enough to control me
I live for myself and I do as I wish to
Saying what I want and you must just let it be
This is my life and you have taken yourself out
So I don't care what of it you will still see
I have recovered and learned what life is about
And finally, without you, I am truly free

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Grades

A is acceptable
B is below your potential
C is crap
D is death

Friday, December 9, 2011

You are no one

You are no one
You are nobody
You are nothing

After all, I have said

No one can make me happy
Nobody cares about me
Nothing will have me smiling

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Simply Happiness

Happiness
Constantly striven for
The goal of what we do
An end to the means
Happiness
Once gone from my life
Now returned to me
Pulled me from the dark
Happiness
A warm hug from a friend
Comforting talk all alone
The people for whom I care