A Musing in Spring

A curious cat wanders through a field
on a cool, clear spring day
as the Sun moves past its peak,
shining beams of life-giving light
down upon me as I sit and observe the scene.
There must have been a picnic earlier,
as I see the cat stop and nibble on a cookie,
perhaps a ginger snap
which personally I would prefer in the fall
along with some pumpkin dip,
but I am no expert in the palate of a cat.
Beautiful goldenrod surrounds it all,
increasing in pulchritude as it perfectly
catches the firey Sun's light.
Inspired, I rise to my feet
and light a match.
The Sun desires fire
as do I.
I drop the flame;
the cat flees.
The flowers transform
into licks of red,
of orange and yellow,
more magnificent than ever
in their last moments.
The remaining evidence of that picnic
surely is burnt to a crisp,
and I relish in its destruction.
As for me,
I do not move.
The Sun desires fire,
and so I shall become.
The cat may have gone away,
but someday it too shall be part of the fire
she and I together gone.

Damned Secret

Damned Secret,
Why must you curse me so?
I have not spoken of you;
Please let me go.
Lurking in my shadow –
You've followed me for too long –
Striking at me constantly;
I find it hard to be strong.
What have I done,
Damned Secret, that I deserve you?
I have done no wrong
And we have not an issue,
Aside from your torture
And your hatred of me.
Still, I continue to dream
Of the day I am set free.

I hope it will come soon,
Damned Secret,
The day of your death.
But until it comes,
I shall give to you no breath.
A damned secret you shall remain,
Never to be known.
I shall ignore you just enough
To someday be left alone.

One Secret

One
lonely lie
torturing
One
weak moment
to lose it
One
lonely guy
wanting to be
Two
with you
One
friendly face
soothing
One
warm smile
to comfort
One
lovely girl
never to be
Two
with me

History Repeats

A second time around
Yet knowing even less
Same mistakes
Made worse
Leading to a mess
Memories of before
Remaining as a curse
Though hated
Not feared
Among mistakes diverse
Failing once again
As was fated
Such dumb
Cruel acts
So it was stated

Poetry Because

Writing for you
just 'cause you asked me to
Hoping to please;
always kind to ladies
Half-hearted attempt;
shown by writing, unkempt
But why not?
What else have I got?
Poems regained
to I, having been drained
Creativity back;
my mind to unpack
Sexy endeavor,
this poetic letter
Lady enticer
with poems ever nicer
Lyrical flex
leading to elevator sex

Unable to Sleep

My head is filled with thoughts
Heavy with its ponderings
You'd think it easy to fall asleep
As gravity must surely be pulling hard on those ideas
Grabbing my head and dropping it onto a pillow

But my mind burns inside of me
Roasting my very soul
I find such torture does not help the spirit rest

So where am I left
And what have I to do
Existing, not living, in consciousness begrudged

I beg for repose
A moment of rest
But lay myself down
And my heart pounds at my chest

To calm it all down
I just want it all to stop
I wish I knew how
Guess tonight I'll stay up

The Perfect One

Hand in hand we walked
Across the field
On that dark night
I held back my tears
(But you knew I was weak)
I had run away
Tried to ignore you
But I always come back
(Or I always had)
If you could still stay
I would never leave
(So I said)
Though I may walk away
My mind does not leave you
(It still hasn't)
You always find me
Bring me back to you
Take me in your arms
Make me smile
(You did your best)
Hand in hand we walked
That dark night
Every dark night
You took my pain
You tried to stop it
(But could you?)
You made me smile
(But was it enough?)
You were the best
(So why did I leave you?)
Together we were fantastic
(Alone I am poor)
Patient and kind
Loving and sweet
The most perfect girl
(Too good for me)

Drop

No need to hold on
Simply easier to let go
If you're not being pulled up
Just fall down below

Rock Climbing

Gazing at that wall
As it stood there so tall
Striving only to reach
Success at its peak
Thus he started without stall

Going inch by inch
(Climbing is a cinch)
All to find the top
Ascending without stop

SPACEUntil he felt a strange pinch.

Stricken with new-found fear,
Seeking suddenly a way out of here,
He turned his head down.

The determined stare and smile
Turned frown. For a wall now hostile;
Pants now brown.

A slip

His right hand had been so sure
-- he had been too
But that very hand seemed to forget its conviction;
Apparently left its hold.

Ah! But it's a simple cure!
Hand back to the wall!

He reached with his right
As his left let him fall

Down

A fate he'd never considered
A place where never could he go

A direction he'd find himself
A destination soon for him to know

He climbed so high
He had touched the sky
Yet it comes to this:
A moment of bliss
Treasured as the end was nigh

Formal Apology

I was quite insane
Rather crazy for you
Now driven mad
Angry for it all
I apologize
If I thought too much
I think now
I am a sorry man

With No Will to Go On

How can you trust
When they keep failing you?
How can you care
If they stop caring too?
How can you love
When you aren't loved back?
How can you live
If your life falls off track?
How can I know
When things will be alright?
For I am left crying
Having lost yet another fight.

Buried in Memory

Is there a greater wound to be had than what I have known?
It is a wound of having had but having lost.
I do not know how I am supposed to make it and go on alone.
But we all continue on no matter the cost.
'Tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all
Or so they have always said to me.
Yet I cannot help but think that they are wrong for a recall
Of undying love, dead, is the worst to see.

Closing Up

I used to think friends were the key to happiness
But that was sadly untrue
The only place where you will find any solace
Is somewhere inside of you
All the pain and all the suffering out there
Has to be let in
Leave the door to yourself securely locked
Stay safe within

And the Silence Speaks to Me

Trust lost
And not a word was said
Status quo
Gone in my heart
Changed in my head
Unspoken truce
Over a war never mentioned
With battles left unfought
Wasted time
All of it for naught

Chrysalis Dreaming

It's time to give up
I clearly have lost
I held on for this long
But what was the cost

I gave all that I was
Keeping nothing for me
For I had known
There was more I could be

But today I am the same
Tomorrow I will be too
Becoming something more
Never could have been true

Nearing an End

Spikes from the ground

Only a hundred feet down

I'm already falling

Escape seems hopeless

From a pain I can't guess

But I fell on my own

For that which will not come

For that which will not come
I am waiting
Nothing else really matters
I must wait
If it arrived and I was gone
I would regret
So here for now I must say
Not to regret
Alone in the cold and rain
Just to wait
For that which I will never have
I am waiting

Down

Down --
How I feel
How things are looking

Worthless --
What I am
What I give

Unwanted --
Me

Pushed to the Edge

Pushed to the edge
Had to look down
A terrible abyss

Nowhere to hide
Doomed to die
Grabbed by the wrists

Eyes closed
Tears held back
Ready to fall

Pulled to safety
Friends took care
They are owed all

I hide my face

I hide my face
I cannot wait
I do not want
I shall not take
You leave it there
You shall not dare
You don't call it dear
You just leave it near