The Presidents

Washington was the man of founding the nation
Adams was the man of general dislike
Jefferson was the man of moderation
Madison was the man the British didn't really like

Monroe told Europe to stay away
But John Quincy Adams was the real mind for that
Jackson survived assassination one day
Van Buren's Boys assaulted Cosmo Kramer (It's a fact!)

Harrison barely survived a month
Tyler is permanent president, Congree agrees
Polk was a strong president and oh crap nothing rhymes with month
Taylor died of from cold milk and cherries

Fillmore had the Compromise of 1850
Pierce pierced 'em in '52
Buchanan and William King were flirty
Lincoln won the Civil War, WOOHOO!

Johnson sucked some major ass reconstructing
Grant sucked some major ass too
Hayes' election sucked some major ass
Garfield wasn't bad 'till he died

Arthur reformed the civil service
Cleveland for his bastard son took flak
Harrison came a century after Washington's greatness
Cleveland found his way back

McKinley brought power to the president
Roosevelt had some sort of big stick
Taft needed a new tub to be a White House resident
Wilsonian idealism makes me sick

Harding's big accomplishment was nothing
Coolidge worked with that nothing as well
Hoover saw the great crash of everything
Roosevelt made ol' Hitler say farewell

Truman's loved by the historical revisionist
Eisenhower was lazy in a way
Kennedy seems to be quite earnest
Johnson's damned by 'Nam to this day

Nixon broke the law with Watergate
Ford bailed Nixon out of his crimes 
Carter bailed Chrysler with government money
Reagan... I can't remember what I was going to say

Bush the elder kicked Saddam Hussein's ass
Clinton liked Monica Lewinsky's
Bush the younger left no child behind
Obama's wife fights big tushy child obesity

That's all the presidents we've had
One up through fourty-four
Unless we get blowed up by Kim Jong Ill
We're set for many more